We don’t need no Spam

There are times when you really hated spammers. Here are some replies to them.

Dear Spam Sender,

Thank you for taking such an interest in me. I regret to inform you the following:

  1. My penis is just fine, but thank you for asking.
  2. I don’t own a home, so why the fuck would I need to re-finance my mortgage.
  3. I don’t require any medication and even if I did I wouldn’t buy it from someone who can’t spell the name of it.
  4. I deeply regret your situation in Nigeria (or whatever 3rd world country you and “your millions of dollars you need to transfer” live in) but you’re barking up the wrong tree.
  5. I already have a degree (again, last time I checked you didn’t spell diploma with a 1 in the middle).
  6. Posing to be the institution I do my banking with, wow, that’s fucking admirable. No, you can’t have my account information.
  7. Re: I don’t remembering sending you e-mail in the first place.
  8. “Your PC is infected”. No it isn’t, I have a Mac which doesn’t open your fucked up .exe files, you stupid.
  9. Thanks for the stock tip, unfortunately I didn’t see a listing on NASDAQ for: bL06Wjob GraNNy99.
  10. Chicks banging horses is soooo 1999.

Bye for now,
Brajeshwar


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Brajeshwar posted this article on Mon, Apr 2nd, 2007 at 4:45 am
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  1. So you would like to satisfy her for longer, Are interested in new Adobe and MS Software and actually have won the uzbekistanian lottery? :P

    Great post dude!

  2. Hahahaha A good dose of laughter!

    A few days ago, I left a comment on PhotoMatt that even spammers are creative. Sometimes, when I check my spams, I feel like laughing.

    But now a days, these spammers are pissing me off by sending 100s of adult spam links/day. Grr

    - Avi

  3. Brajeshwar…good answers.

    I will suggest you to use CAPTCHA in your word press comments. I was facing a problem regarding spam by comments in my blog..and i installed CAPTCHA, really saves my life.

    Try any CAPTCHA plugin in your comment.

  4. Haha … what a great list. ”My penis is just fine, but thank you for asking.” – I would love to reply to them and say “When I get my first penis, you will be the first person I contact”. But, then I realize I’d just receive more penis spam, so I get no such joy.

  5. Hi Brajeshwar,

    great post, rotfl.

    I would suggest to send this text within the forwarded spam-mail to the webmasters, administrative contacts, and registrars of each spam-promoted website! Even if the contact details in the records are faked, the registrars are real and have to deal with. If thousands do so immediately when receiving spam, I bet, all these sites will be off next day.

    greez

  6. Good post, i feel the same way!

  7. From where did you copy these lines and pasted on to your blog…?

  8. would love to reply to them and say âââ¬ÃâWhen I get my first penis, you will be the first person I contactâââ¬ÃÂ.

  9. Spam is Good :)

  10. From where did you copy these lines and pasted on to your blog

  11. @Borelioza.
    I found it in coupla forwards that landed in my Inbox. I think they are pretty common mails doing the rounds on the Internet.

  12. Hi,
    I would suggest to send this text within the forwarded spam-mail to the webmasters, administrative contacts,?and registrars of each spam-promoted website!

  13. You’ve wrote it yourself :D ? hehe :) Really funny :)

  14. Commenting still works!

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Brajeshwar I firmly believe in keeping things simple, easy for users and I envison pushing the technical envelop time and again for the betterment of viable commercial and practical applications. More about me.

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Since its inception on 11th June, 2001, "Brajeshwar" has 980 Articles and 6,660 comments, contained within 17 categories and 1,593 tags.